And So It Begins--Part 3
Today was class #2 of my smoking cessation classes. I go to check in and collect my prescriptions and once again all they have for me is a prescription for Zyban, no nicotine patches. That just won't do, so I gave her the prescription back and dropped from the class. I walked across the street to my PCM's office and asked if they could get me in today. As luck would have it they had an opening later that afternoon. So I raced home to shave my legs and armpits--LOL--you just never know what a doctor might want to exam!!! When I saw the doctor I asked him if he felt there was any medical reason why I cannot use the nicotine patch to quit smoking. He thoroughly looked over my chart and said that he sees no reason why I cannot use the patch. Unfortunately, the only doctor on the base allowed to prescribe the patch is the one that is denying me the patch. So while my doctor is not able to prescribe it for me, there is nothing stopping me from purchasing the patches myself and that is what I am going to do. My doctor was able to prescribe Wellbutrin for me, which is the same as Zyban. I had been prescribed wellbutrin back in Feb. as treatment for fibromyalgia so he just renewed that prescription.
So, as of the morning of June 23 I will no longer be smoking!
I am very nervous about this. Mostly because I don't feel as though I have the support that I am going to need in order to be successful. Lindsay, of course, supports me in my effort; she knows full well how hard giving up an addiction is. I think Shannon will support me at least until I get bitchy with cravings. I really want Marcus' support because he is after all the person who is with me every day, but I don't feel he is willing to give that to me. Which is very surprising to me because normally he is very supportive of everything I do and he often verbalizes his displeasure with my smoking. But for some reason he says that I should not quit right now; he thinks this it too stressful of a time for me to try to quit. I feel I am ready NOW. Today he actually said to me "which is more expensive, the patch or smoking?" WHAT?!!!!! I couldn't believe my ears. Yes, the patch is very expensive but in the long run it will pay for itself. Not to mention how wrong it is to put a price tag on the prevention of lung cancer and heart disease! Then, to make matters worse he asks my why I think I can be successful this time when I never have been before! What the hell? He says maybe I am not ready to do this. I am prepared to pay for the freaking outrageously expensive patches, so I must be ready!!! I just feel like I've been kicked in the gut by the one person who should be standing beside me in all this. I feel like his lack of support is just setting me up for failure.
So, as of the morning of June 23 I will no longer be smoking!
I am very nervous about this. Mostly because I don't feel as though I have the support that I am going to need in order to be successful. Lindsay, of course, supports me in my effort; she knows full well how hard giving up an addiction is. I think Shannon will support me at least until I get bitchy with cravings. I really want Marcus' support because he is after all the person who is with me every day, but I don't feel he is willing to give that to me. Which is very surprising to me because normally he is very supportive of everything I do and he often verbalizes his displeasure with my smoking. But for some reason he says that I should not quit right now; he thinks this it too stressful of a time for me to try to quit. I feel I am ready NOW. Today he actually said to me "which is more expensive, the patch or smoking?" WHAT?!!!!! I couldn't believe my ears. Yes, the patch is very expensive but in the long run it will pay for itself. Not to mention how wrong it is to put a price tag on the prevention of lung cancer and heart disease! Then, to make matters worse he asks my why I think I can be successful this time when I never have been before! What the hell? He says maybe I am not ready to do this. I am prepared to pay for the freaking outrageously expensive patches, so I must be ready!!! I just feel like I've been kicked in the gut by the one person who should be standing beside me in all this. I feel like his lack of support is just setting me up for failure.
posted by Dianna | 5:57 PM
6 Comments:
Awwww Dianna. That has got to be so tough. I am supporting you and will be cheering you on the whole way.
I think Marcus's lack of support is comming from fear about something he is unsure of about himself. The whole move, selling a house, getting a new job, everything is so stressfull on him, he probably is worried about his own abilities.
Hang tough, and show him what you are made of!
Lisa
Dianna, we're all here to support you. I think that Finnie is a wonderful incentive to quit smoking. {{hugs}}
I usually like Marcus but right now I want to kick him in the shins once or twice. Come on Marcus - when the time is right you need to run with it.
Are you sure you can do it without the class - are you at the point where the classes just piss you off so much you don't want to stay? I say quit smoking to spite them and their stupid stingy patchless class :)
Go buy the patches Di and do this to prove Marcus wrong. You are a strong woman and you can do it!
I will gladly pray for your success over this difficult addiction
You can do it!
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Dianna, I think it is going to be a tough road BUT you all ready realize that. You are willing to make the sacrafices you need to to win the battle. I will be here to offer any support you need! Bonnie
I wanted to add something I thought of last night.
It was actually easier for me to quit when moving - because I got into a smoking routine. I had my smoking friends, and my smoking spots and times when I would smoke. By quitting when I moved, it forced me into a new routine, and I don't have smoking friends, or smoking spots or smoking times... So if Marcus wants to bring up the move, let him know you are trying to amke a fresh start :)
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