Travels With Charley (a.k.a. Aerosmith and Samantha)
I've now been in VA for exactly eight days and life is still rather crazy trying to set up this house, but that is whole other blog entry--coming soon! My trip across LA, MS, AL, GA, TN, and VA was, for the most part uneventful. I really enjoy long road trips because, well, because I enjoy driving my car fast on the open highway. I especially enjoy long road trips by myself because I can stop only when I need to stop and there is no one to have to share the stereo dials with. This trip, however, was much different; I was NOT alone!
This was the first time I have ever had to travel alone with two cats in tow. Two cats might not seem like a lot to handle, but try taking two cats who hate riding in a car for a 1,000+ mile drive. Trust me when I say that cats do not understand the meaning of "we are almost there!" They do not understand the meaning of "no, you may not jump out of the car when I open the door" or "no, you may not rip open the underside of that hotel mattress for the sole intent of hiding to avoid being thrown back into the car in the morning." They also do not understand the meaning of "the lid of the between-the-seats CD holder is up so that you cannot enter the front cabin of the car and when you slam your 30+ pound body upon it it makes a noise resembling a gun shot or a tire blowout; thus scaring the living shit out of your owner as she cruises 90mph down a highway with a big rig on her ass!" Nor do they understand the concept of "yes, if you step on that button that big glass plate will move down and you are liable to be sucked out by the rush of passing air"; nor, "this is my car and I will listen to any music I like and if you do not like it--tough!"
That last concept was probably the worst. My cats are very vocal and have no problems with vocalizing their displeasure--especially their displeasure concerning being in a moving vehicle. They meowed in unison at the top of their lungs nearly the entire trip. I attempted to drown them out with music; you know, music soothes the savage beast. Ya alright, and whoever came up with that quote was surely smoking crack! I tried to find something that would calm them. Depeche Mode, Josh Groban, The Beatles, The Eagles, Nickelback, Luther Vondross--I tried everything--and, in a moment of sheer desperation, I even tried the Back Street Boys (don't ask how that CD just happened to be in my car) and I swear, they meowed even louder. Poor Aerosmith (my fat cat) tried to get away from the Back Street Boys by digging his back claws into my leather seats and hefting his considerable girth onto the back window of the car. Bless his heart, he still has no clue that that would have only brought him closer to the speakers and that my quick action of slamming the brakes thus hurtling him back to the seat where he belonged really saved him! I finally happened upon a cd that saved my sanity--well, almost. Apparently, my cats are Jewel fans. Now, I like Jewel and listen to her CD frequently, but the same Jewel CD for over 1000 miles?!! I was meowing by the time we arrived in VA!
This was the first time I have ever had to travel alone with two cats in tow. Two cats might not seem like a lot to handle, but try taking two cats who hate riding in a car for a 1,000+ mile drive. Trust me when I say that cats do not understand the meaning of "we are almost there!" They do not understand the meaning of "no, you may not jump out of the car when I open the door" or "no, you may not rip open the underside of that hotel mattress for the sole intent of hiding to avoid being thrown back into the car in the morning." They also do not understand the meaning of "the lid of the between-the-seats CD holder is up so that you cannot enter the front cabin of the car and when you slam your 30+ pound body upon it it makes a noise resembling a gun shot or a tire blowout; thus scaring the living shit out of your owner as she cruises 90mph down a highway with a big rig on her ass!" Nor do they understand the concept of "yes, if you step on that button that big glass plate will move down and you are liable to be sucked out by the rush of passing air"; nor, "this is my car and I will listen to any music I like and if you do not like it--tough!"
That last concept was probably the worst. My cats are very vocal and have no problems with vocalizing their displeasure--especially their displeasure concerning being in a moving vehicle. They meowed in unison at the top of their lungs nearly the entire trip. I attempted to drown them out with music; you know, music soothes the savage beast. Ya alright, and whoever came up with that quote was surely smoking crack! I tried to find something that would calm them. Depeche Mode, Josh Groban, The Beatles, The Eagles, Nickelback, Luther Vondross--I tried everything--and, in a moment of sheer desperation, I even tried the Back Street Boys (don't ask how that CD just happened to be in my car) and I swear, they meowed even louder. Poor Aerosmith (my fat cat) tried to get away from the Back Street Boys by digging his back claws into my leather seats and hefting his considerable girth onto the back window of the car. Bless his heart, he still has no clue that that would have only brought him closer to the speakers and that my quick action of slamming the brakes thus hurtling him back to the seat where he belonged really saved him! I finally happened upon a cd that saved my sanity--well, almost. Apparently, my cats are Jewel fans. Now, I like Jewel and listen to her CD frequently, but the same Jewel CD for over 1000 miles?!! I was meowing by the time we arrived in VA!
posted by Dianna | 5:21 PM
1 Comments:
This is why I don't have pets, lol!
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