Grieving

I had no idea this would be so darn hard! I feel extremely helpless and have no earthly clue how to comfort Marcus during his time of grief. Though, in all actuality he is holding up amazingly well. He hasn't cried or expressed grief since the day his mother passed away. I know he feels grief but I think he has pushed it all back and is keeping himself busy planning the funeral and getting his mom's affairs in order. On Monday we went to the funeral parlor and made all the arrangements; the people at the funeral parlor were amazing. They guided us through the entire process which was a good thing since we both were clueless on planning a funeral. That day on the way there Marcus stated to me that he just had this lump in his throat that never goes away. I think I understand that--I felt that way when Rena' passed away. Now he just says he is numb and he doesn't understand why he isn't feeling more. I told him the grief will come; I hope I have what it takes to be strong for him when it does come. I am expecting that will happen on Saturday at the funeral. I feel so bad for him; I cannot imagine what it must feel like to be parentless. Often I find myself wondering what to say to him. We spend a lot of time talking about his mom; I tell him good stories about his mom as it is all I seem to have to offer to him right now. I worry too; I worry about whether or not he will ever be the same again. And then I feel guilty for worrying about something that seems so selfish. Why does death have to be so hard?